my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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