Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
