Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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