I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
