were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize