Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
