thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
