I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
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