She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
