I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
