After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
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I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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