Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
