im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
