just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
