You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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