you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
