im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
