with your own penis?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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