So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
