Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I died a long time ago.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
