wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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