it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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