So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
