He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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