Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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