i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
