some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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