she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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