You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
