Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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