but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
