ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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