Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
