i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Randomize
