I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize