I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
