Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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