I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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