brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
