You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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