I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
