Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
