He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
