so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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