Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i've created a new STD.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
