I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
