I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
