Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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