Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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