from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
