i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
