I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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