Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
