We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
