So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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