i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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