just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
