It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
