He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
