Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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