i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
