I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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