I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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