My entire life is one complicated drinking game
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
