Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
