morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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