Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
