the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
